Couch Correspondent: 2014 Billboard Music Awards

I woke up this morning slightly regretting not watching Devious Maids last night in order to watch the Billboard Music Awards. What can I say, they hooked me from the get with the triple Latino threat: Pitbull, JLo, and Claudia Leitte. Cuba, Puerto Rico, and Brazil–BOOM. How was I not going to watch?

The rest of the awards show though was mediocre, aside from Ariana Grande and Iggy Azalea performing ‘Problem’ and whether you liked it or not you woke your ass up when you saw Michael Jackson dancing on the stage. Here’s the moments that gave us something to laugh–or cringe–at throughout last night’s BBMAs:

Kardashian/Jenners do not belong behind a mic

I was delighted to see a younger sibling take the stage for once, and even more Kendall Jenner because she’s always seemed to be the shyer of the bunch and also the softest. She looked gorgeous–man I wish I could rock an open-back outfit like that–and her speech started off great. You can tell the nerves overpowered her as the words started pouring out of her mouth at a faster rate and then the fail. She started to say One Direction, wrong boy band. All she had to do was read off a teleprompter. I don’t buy the whole “I left my contacts at home” excuse. If you know you’re presenting, do you not make sure you can see? I’m a big Khloe fan but let’s be honest, she was hard on the eyes and ears during her stint on X Factor. We should let them stick to reality TV.

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Over the Jokes
Solange and Sterling felt the burn of jokes on the show and I wasn’t really laughing, at all. Mark Cuban doesn’t really do it for me and when he’s trying to be funny, the delivery of the jokes doesn’t make it. Not enough has been stirring in the pot of entertainment gossip so we’re clinging to the only two events. I’m tired of hearing Sterling’s name, can we stop giving him attention? He’s a waste of syllables.

I got one less problem because of this
We all love the song ‘Problem’, don’t lie, it was number one on iTunes for a reason, because y’all were buying it! I’m such an Arianator. I love black and white so clearly I was all into her dress and boots. Sure her dance moves are awkward to watch but not because they’re completely bad, more because she’s so young looking that it almost feels inappropriate. It never feels right to watch a Nickelodeon/Disney star bust out with risqué hip shaking. In due time we’ll get over it, her moves will be polished, and her look will mature. Her voice is the shit though so don’t lose steam with her!

The Moonwalking Dead
Ugh. Ehh. Yay. Meh. That’s how I felt about Michael Jackson’s revival on the stage. I love the King of Pop and true no one could ever be him, but does that mean we have to have him past his time alive? It was a little bit creepy to see him full of fake life. I enjoyed the performance because I love his music and I’ll never not want to see his moonwalking skills. Still, let’s let him rest peacefully. Plus MJ was a total perfectionist so I just sat there cringing at the thought of how unhappy it would have made him if any move had gone wrong.

Photo Credit: Getty / Kevin Winter/Billboard Awards 20

Shakira Self-PDA
This is the second time I’ve seen Shakira perform ‘Empire’ which allows her to show off her rocker background. Rocker Shakira is a badass, can ya tell? She’s all feeling up on herself, wind in the hair, dress flapping all over the place. She’s what we all think we look like when we’re trying to be sexy, except we actually look pathetic and Shakira just looks….well….lust-worthy.

Shakira  
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Us
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Selena Gomez Breaks Up With The Jenners

BREAKING NEWS! Well, it was a few days ago anyways. Earlier this week Perez Hilton reported that Selena Gomez unfollowed her besties Kylie and Kendall Jenner on Instagram. And to throw salt in the wound, she also got rid of their selfie shots together. OUCH. This is exactly how it goes down in most relationships that end badly, so algo serio must have happened. It got me thinking about the mentality of unfollowing on social media. Because it’s definitely a thing now. It’s a statement with purpose.

Whenever I have an amiga who’s relationship is on the rocks–or completely over–they always come to me asking, “should I unfollow him on Twitter & Insta and unfriend him on Facebook?” My answer is almost always, YES. Many people would argue that this is immature and unnecessary. I say there’s just no way around it.

Social media allows everyone to show who they want the world to see them as, and oftentimes after a breakup or fallout (this can happen with friends too) it’s used as a tool to hurt the other half of the broken relationship. If you’re broken hearted, or just hurt, swiping up and down a feed full of subliminal messages via memes, gifs, photos, or just words, will only cause more heartache.

Everyone’s fear is always that the unfollowee will think less of you when they realize you are no longer keeping tabs on their every public move. The thing is, the act of unfollowing isn’t about them or what they think, it’s about you. The real purpose of moving forward on this is to give yourself peace of mind and actual space to move on. With the constant suffocation of knowing what they’re up to, the time you’re suppose to spend healing is actually spent pining over their posts. You’ll overthink the meaning of their every social media move and suddenly you’re not in a relationship with them, but you are with their feed. In the end, you’re the only one losing and with every subtweet they post, you’re practically getting broken up with over and over again.

I’ve deleted/unfollowed a guy and friend or two. Did I ever regret it? Nope. Why? Because I got to move along with my life and not have to be an outsider watching theirs play out without me. So if Miss Gomez had a falling out with her gal pals and decided to excommunicate them from her social media life, I say, do it boo! And if you need to do the same with tu ex novio, I’ll back you up.